Game of Bones

The puppy got a bunch of new puppy bones when she came to live with us. The older dog would step over her own pile of beloved chews and take the puppy bone out of the puppy’s mouth and then run off to the high chair, which was too high for the puppy to reach. Then the big dog would settle in for a good chew.

The puppy was rightfully indignant and would yip in rage from the floor as the big dog peered down at her and then carefully moved the bone further back on the chair, safely out of reach. As a scientist, I love a good observational experiment. Perhaps the puppy bone was objectively better. It was less chewed, softer, bacon flavored, just the right size for reaching those back molars. Or maybe the puppy bone had value simply by virtue of belonging to someone else.

I brought home two identical puppy bones, both brand new and bacon flavored, and gave one to each dog. They took their respective bones and trotted quickly to opposite corners of the room. Blissful silence ensued, broken only by the sound of contented chewing. And then I heard a bone clatter to the floor. Then another. They each went for each other’s bone at the same time. The big one reached the puppy’s bone first and ran away. The puppy, who had been going for the big dog’s bone, abandoned it to chase after her former bone. Chaos ensued, involving collisions with chairs and a high speed chase that ended with both dogs skidding on the slippery floor and crashing head first into the wall.

Luckily, they both have very hard heads. At this point, the human parents intervened and put the dogs in separate crates for a cool down period. Silly dogs, I thought, as I went back to enviously scrolling on my phone, reading about other people’s perfect lives.